Monday, August 2, 2010

Coming out?

I was listening to a Richard Dawkins interview podcast today.  He mentioned, as I've heard him say several times, that being at atheist is similar to being in the closet for homosexuals.  I don't claim to know what it's like for a homosexual to be in or out of the closet, but this analogy hits home.

I am not ashamed of being an atheist, but I am not willing to have that be "out there" for all of the world to see (although I have in isolated discussions).  I don't want to deal with the ramifications of it.  Christians, particularly the more Evangelical ones, are so closed-minded about it, don't understand it, and subsequently have a target for the witnessing they always hear about in church.

My wife "outted" me once at a neighbor's barbeque - it just happened to come up in a conversation about churches.  She didn't know that I was uncomfortable with it because I've been open about it with closer friends.  I wasn't upset with her for doing it, but I did have to deal with the super-churchy wife next door for about a year.  I finally had to bluntly tell her to stop trying to save me - I wasn't interested.

I'm not even out to my children.  My wife is a mostly non-practicing Catholic.  I'd probably define her actual views as agnostic or even a deist, but she is a cultural Catholic and will probably hold to that.  As a result of my general indifference and her background, we've raised our children as culturally Catholic.  We pray before every meal and the kids have gone through all of the rights of passage.  They know we're not really all that into religion as a family and have heard us be critical of the more fundamentalist denominations here and there.

My oldest is in 8th grade now and I wonder if and when this discussion will come with her.  I also wonder how I will handle it.  I don't think I can lie or would want to.  I'll need to discuss this with my wife at some point.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your kids have probably picked up on this anyway. They no doubt know that you're just following a habit.

Both my nieces go to my parents church and then discuss with their mother that they don't really think God is real. Kids are smart like that

Rob said...

I remember once, several years ago, one of my daughters asked me at dinner, "Daddy, what do you love the most about Jesus?"

My wife looked up at me. I thought for a second.

I said something like, "Well, the person that most Christians believe in represents so many good things about peace, love, and forgiveness. The Bible says that he said something I really like - do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

I meant that, even though I don't believe he was a supernatural figure.

If they want to be Christians as adults, that's fine. It's my job to make sure they can see what's good and what's not about it.